Today’s flash fiction prompt, brought to life by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, is more about perspective, than content. We only look up when we have to, most of the time.
First shimmering whiteness, then darkness, like a black raven harrying above her head. Overlaying, intricate swirls. They blur, refusing to unfold and show their true form.
Brightness, unbearable and keen, singes her eyes and she tries to turn away, but her stiff neck locks.
She blinks, the fuzz clears a little. Roses. Stay focussed!
Her tongue cleaves to her dry palate, refusing to budge or conjure up sounds. Glued to her sides, her rigid arms wretchedly refuse to shift.
Shadows move, criss-crossing about her. One casts closer, then whispers in her ear.
“It’s okay, Mum, you fainted.”
What great description! Very nice piece.
LikeLike
Thank you. It wasn’t easy to write, but I’m glad I tried.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! That was vivid. I kind of guessed the end, but it still was… wow!
LikeLike
Thank you. I have fainted badly once and this is roughly based on my experience.
LikeLike
Phew, that was worrying. Seems a bit more severe than a faint. I agree, great descriptive writing.
LikeLike
I have fainted badly, woke up not knowing where I was and a big lump on the back of my head! So this is something of that experience.
LikeLike
Dear Rae,
I have fainted before. Pretty good description.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Fainting runs in my family, but I’ve only had one incidence where coming around I didn’t recognise my surroundings until somebody spoke to me. Scary!
LikeLike
I love the way we’re right inside her head, with no idea what’s happened until the end.
LikeLike
It was hard to write as I knew what happened, but didn’t know if the reader would follow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not a tale for the faint-hearted! Excellent, descriptive, different!
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
LikeLike
No, not for the faint of heart!
LikeLike
It’s not easy to describe that emergence from unconsciousness. I think you’ve done it very well.
LikeLike
Thank you. It was based on a real experience where I briefly lost my memory coming to.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very realistic.
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
Your prose is poetic. Enchanting…
LikeLike
Thank you. I wouldn’t describe myself as a poet, so that is a pleasant surprise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
wow, that’s exactly how it feels to faint. Well done.
LikeLike
I wish it wasn’t based on experience!
LikeLike
So that’s what fainting feels like? Very interesting (I never fainted, and don’t want to. 🙂 ) Great story.
LikeLike
It’s the coming round I remember, I don’t actually recall losing consciousness. Hope you never do too!
LikeLiked by 1 person