Lost in my Daydreams

My husband claims he can’t remember his dreams. I know he dreams by the way he fidgets and mutters in his sleep. He’s never once mentioned anything when he wakes up: no comments about weird images or nightmares, neither does he suddenly in the middle of the day realise the thing he’s thinking about isn’t real, but a figment of a dream coming to life once again. That’s me. I’m the dreamer.

I’m prolific. Every night I have vivid dreams and they are voyages into the bizarre and incomprehensible. As I wake, I lie there, wondering how the hell my mind can create such confusing stories during my sleep. It doesn’t last long, by the time I’m eating breakfast only the smattering of images or expressions remain in my memories, the rest has faded away.  Nothing I dream about makes good fodder for a book. It’s like trying to catch a wisp of air – elusive and insubstantial. However, my daydreams are a different matter.

I’ve frittered away years of daydreaming: staring out the window when work was tedious, contemplating during a long train or car journey, lost in thought when I should have been doing school work, I’ve even dallied in reveries while playing my piano (I can daydream and play at the same time with no recollection of playing a single note at the end of the piece, but not on the flute, probably because I have to keep track of my breathing – perhaps there is a link between conscious breathing and inability to daydream!).  Sadly, in my waking dreams, I have composed reams of stories but none of it has been written down.

Am I alone in having this creative energy at the most inopportune moments in my life? For example, when I’m driving the car a conversation between two characters is ignited and I’m frantically trying to find the record button in my head to keep it there and not lose it. Once home, it vaporises the moment I grasp a pen or switch the computer on. It happens over and over – in the aisles of supermarkets, watching kids’ hideous movies in the cinema or the top of a hill while taking a walk. Why is it I’m so goddamn prolific in my creativity at the worst of times or places. The most infuriating: lying awake in the middle of the night, desperately trying not to start thinking about the next chapter – is that possible, daydreaming during the night? Clearly for me, yes.

Perhaps I should simply embrace this curse. I do try to carry a notepad wherever I go, just in case. I also make mental notes – key phrases or words – in the hope when I get home, these will trigger the whole account I’ve written in my head. Some is lost, forgotten, others re-emerge in a different form, already edited.  Dreams are potent sources of ideas, whether in your sleep or wide awake, this amazing conscious stream of imagination and inventiveness sets us apart from other creatures on this planet.

Today’s book

Catherine Storr – Marianne Dreams

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6 comments

  1. I often wake in the middle of the night with a story in my head. If I go back to sleep my mind erases it – I know that I thought of a story but just what it was about just disappears. So, at 4 am this morning I duly got up and wrote the outline for Mondays A-Z letter E story! Yawn!

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    1. I’m terribly lazy – I should jot these thoughts down, but I don’t want to open my eyes! Looking forward to your E.

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  2. That happens to me all the time, especially when I’m behind the wheel of my car, or lying in bed and being too lazy to turn on the light 🙂 Maybe us forgetting before we can get inside and write it down is similar to the reason we forget what we’re looking for when we walk into another room – we’ve passed an event boundary, with which we had associated our thoughts, and, moving into a different event means we jettison the ‘unnecessary’ thoughts, which for we writers are the really brilliant ideas for a scene!
    Sophie
    Sophie’s Thoughts & Fumbles
    FB3X
    Wittegen Press

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very good a jettisoning my thoughts, necessary or unnecessary. I wish I could pick the moment that happens. I like the idea of an event boundary, and sometimes it is okay to forget things.

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  3. They always say to keep a pad of paper beside the bed and write your dreams down in the middle of the night if they wake you up. I have never done that – maybe I should because I don’t remember mine in the morning either. I do remember them being strange or being scarey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to be able to remember my dreams for long periods upon wakening, not these days. I could write them down, but my thoughts are so jumbled, what I see is images,and they’re difficult to translate into words. I’m not a morning person!

      Liked by 1 person

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