Up Above

hyde-hall-light

 

Today’s flash fiction prompt, brought to life by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, is more about perspective, than content. We only look up when we have to, most of the time.

 

First shimmering whiteness, then darkness, like a black raven harrying above her head. Overlaying, intricate swirls. They blur, refusing to unfold and show their true form.

Brightness, unbearable and keen, singes her eyes and she tries to turn away, but her stiff neck locks.

She blinks, the fuzz clears a little. Roses. Stay focussed!

Her tongue cleaves to her dry palate, refusing to budge or conjure up sounds. Glued to her sides, her rigid arms wretchedly refuse to shift.

Shadows move, criss-crossing about her. One casts closer, then whispers in her ear.

“It’s okay, Mum, you fainted.”

 

23 comments

  1. charnellpeters · · Reply

    What great description! Very nice piece.

    Like

    1. Thank you. It wasn’t easy to write, but I’m glad I tried.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! That was vivid. I kind of guessed the end, but it still was… wow!

    Like

    1. Thank you. I have fainted badly once and this is roughly based on my experience.

      Like

  3. Phew, that was worrying. Seems a bit more severe than a faint. I agree, great descriptive writing.

    Like

    1. I have fainted badly, woke up not knowing where I was and a big lump on the back of my head! So this is something of that experience.

      Like

  4. Dear Rae,

    I have fainted before. Pretty good description.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    1. Fainting runs in my family, but I’ve only had one incidence where coming around I didn’t recognise my surroundings until somebody spoke to me. Scary!

      Like

  5. I love the way we’re right inside her head, with no idea what’s happened until the end.

    Like

    1. It was hard to write as I knew what happened, but didn’t know if the reader would follow.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Not a tale for the faint-hearted! Excellent, descriptive, different!
    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

    Like

    1. No, not for the faint of heart!

      Like

  7. micklively · · Reply

    It’s not easy to describe that emergence from unconsciousness. I think you’ve done it very well.

    Like

    1. Thank you. It was based on a real experience where I briefly lost my memory coming to.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Very realistic.

    Like

    1. Thank you 🙂

      Like

  9. Your prose is poetic. Enchanting…

    Like

    1. Thank you. I wouldn’t describe myself as a poet, so that is a pleasant surprise.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. wow, that’s exactly how it feels to faint. Well done.

    Like

    1. I wish it wasn’t based on experience!

      Like

  11. gahlearner · · Reply

    So that’s what fainting feels like? Very interesting (I never fainted, and don’t want to. 🙂 ) Great story.

    Like

    1. It’s the coming round I remember, I don’t actually recall losing consciousness. Hope you never do too!

      Liked by 1 person

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